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Nora Sakavic: The King's Men (All for the Game #3) | Lara
Neil Josten is out of time. He knew when he came to PSU he wouldn't survive the year, but with his death right around the corner he's got more reasons than ever to live.
Befriending the Foxes was inadvisable. Kissing one is unthinkable. Neil should know better than to get involved with anyone this close to the end, but Andrew's never been the easiest person to walk away from. If they both say it doesn't mean anything, maybe Neil won't regret losing it, but the one person Neil can't lie to is himself.
He's got promises to keep and a team to get to championships if he can just outrun Riko a little longer, but Riko's not the only monster in Neil's life. The truth might get them all killed—or be Neil's one shot at getting out of this alive.
Sorry guys, but this enormous review couldn't fit in Goodreads so here's everything - all quotes, fanarts and few more things that didn't make the cut because of the character limit on gr.
There are so much pain and joy behind these words that I have no idea how to write this review. I’m sad mostly because it’s over, but I’m also happy and amazed by the beauty and complicity of this book. It is absolutely perfect, every piece of it and I don’t think I will ever get over it. This book about sports, friends, and family changed my life and filled my heart and I will never forget how important it is to me.
Every moment counts and every single thing is important – I read this book twice now only so I could understand and love each character a little bit more. From every character to every game and dialogue it all fits perfectly and together makes an astonishing story about growth, pain, and acceptance. It’s a character-driven novel, but the plot itself was intense and dynamic, every scene kept me on my toes and gave me chills. What an absolute masterpiece by Nora Sakavic. Thank you for bringing these books in my life and I am sorry I haven’t picked them up before.
I am an absolute mess over this, have been for a week and probably will be for a while now. This review is going to look like my current train of thoughts, which means a lot of screaming, quotes and unconditional love for all my husbands. Just a forewarning in case you’d like to escape spoilers and/or my hysterical writing.
🐾 Kevin
"Die free or die a failure."
Kevin Day is the literal embodiment of my deepest fears and greatest desires. It is insane how much of myself as both athlete and a person I can see reflected in his character, and the crazy part I haven’t started to see that until getting deep into the second book. At first, he’s seen as arrogant full of himself former champion who is just bitter to be put on the sidelines after the attention he was used to getting. But Kevin has been and will always be so much more than that – he is a fighter and a survivor, and it took him a long time, but he stood up and took what’s his. The abuse he’s suffered from his so-called brother and best friend took a serious toll on his self-confidence and embedded a permanent fear of the Moriyamas and anything connected to them. His development was the most impressive and highly emotional by far – I can’t remember the last time I was so invested in the character and their actions.
"Now Kevin's starting to forget him," Neil said. "When we faced the Ravens last October, Kevin cared more about us than he did about having Riko standing at his back. He chose us over them that day, and that's unforgivable.”
He loves Exy more than anything and it’s the only thing that drove him forward after losing everything – his love for sport brought him back from the bottom of despair and made him tougher into an athlete he is today.
Kevin stood calm and quiet until a referee opened the door for them. Before he stepped on Kevin tapped the butt of his racquet against the floor and passed his stick to his other hand. He strode to half-court head high and left-handed, and the crowd went wild.
He gave everything he had in Exy and it was all taken away from him just because Riko wanted to show he could and that’s where his “spinelessness” comes from – the fear of losing everything he cares for and becoming nothing again. Neil tried so hard to get to him, and he needed that push to seize the opportunity and become what he was always meant to be – the best striker in the NCAA. I was in literal tears while reading his scenes from the game with Ravens – my left-handed perfect dickhead did it!
"Let Riko be King," Kevin said, with the exaggerated enunciation of the thoroughly sloshed. "Most coveted, most protected. He'll sacrifice every piece he has to protect his throne. Whatever. Me?" Kevin gestured again, meaning to indicate himself but too drunk to get his hand higher than his waist. "I'm going to be the deadliest piece on the board."
🐾Andrew
“I hate you,” Andrew said casually. He took a last long drag from his cigarette and flicked it off the roof. “You were supposed to be a side effect of the drugs.”
“I’m not a hallucination,” Neil said, nonplussed.
“You are a pipe dream,” Andrew said.”
His helplessness comes from years-long abuse and neglect that was slowly destroying his sanity and humanity. It is painful and heartbreaking, but also beautiful and liberating, to watch such a character recover and grow surrounded by people who are willing to respect boundaries and give time. He had right people to lead him and show it’s not hopeless, that there are still things to care for – his brother, his friends, Neil and Exy and everything that will come after the pain passes.
“Who said 'please' that made you hate the word so much?"
Andrew gazed at him in silence for a minute. "I did.”
🐾Neil
“He wouldn’t die a lie.”
He didn't want to think about this, didn't want to feel this, so he thought about the Foxes instead. He clung tight to the memory of their unhesitating friendship and their smiles. He pretended the heartbeat pounding a sick pace in his temples was an Exy ball ricocheting off the court walls. He thought of Wymack holding him up in December and Andrew pushing him down against the bedroom floor. The memories made him weak with grief and loss, but they made him stronger, too. He'd come to the Foxhole Court every inch a lie, but his friends made him into someone real.
Neil gave everything he could to play as long as he could, even if it led to his eventual death because the thought of losing something as valuable as his team and his game was unbearable. He went out of his way to protect them and keep them together – he patched thing up that weren’t his business before he realized how much he cared. He did everything to pull the Foxes up, suffering in silence and preparing for the moment it would all end. But it would all be worth it. He had the team that put him together and wouldn’t give up on him no matter what. He had Wymack to keep his promise and give him home he deserved. For the first time in his life, Neil belonged, and he wouldn’t let that go even if it meant the end of him. He’s suffered and fought so much, but in the end, all he wanted was to play with his friends.
"I'm not trying to die," Neil said.
"This is how I stay alive. When I'm playing, I feel like I have control over something. I feel like I have the power to change things. I feel more real out there than I do anywhere else. The court doesn't care what my name is or where I'm from or where I'll be tomorrow. It lets me exist as I am."
That unconditional undying love for the sport is something I’ve always carried with me and fought for it no matter what, and up until now, I’ve never seen someone picture it so accurately and brightly. No other book made me feel this way – from every practice to every game Neil and the others played - it’s like I was there, running, fighting, winning with them and it’s true that sports are like a drug – once you taste it you can only want more of it.
🐾Matt and Dan
🐾Renee
Despite this book being more oriented on male characters and development, the girls were presented as nothing but strong and confident, willing to carry the team on their backs until they find a way to walk on their own. That’s another thing I adored about the sport Sakavic created – Exy is a co-ed sport, meaning girls and boys play equally on their teams. I don’t know any other such popular sport where men and women play together and that’s fucking amazing.
Renee is really the sweetheart of the team, but I really wish her character would get more attention and/or some more background and her way back from the bottom. Renee found her consolation and safety in faith – she’s a survivor and a fighter, but she doesn’t judge the ones around her for being different.
🐾Allison
And here goes another hot badass bitch I wish I could’ve known better. I loved her character, but there are still few things missing, like her motives for leaving her father’s fortune and family business so she could play with Foxes. I mean, it’s a fucking badass power move, but still, why did she do it? Besides that, she’s pretty damn amazing. Allison got over the tragic death of her boyfriend and came back stronger. She got up with style and put everyone in their place like a queen she is.
🐾Andreil
"Don't look at me like that. I am not your answer, and you sure as fuck aren't mine."
"I'm not looking for an answer. I just want—I'm tired of being nothing," Neil said.
"You are a Fox. You are always going to be nothing." Andrew stubbed his cigarette out. "I hate you."
That’s it. I don’t know how to put everything I have in my head for these two in words, but it’s insane. I’ve never read anything similar to this – their relationship is one of the most realistic and astonishing things in any literary work and I am so grateful for its existence.
“There was nowhere for Neil to stand except up against Andrew, but somehow Neil didn't mind. They'd been apart for seven weeks but Neil keenly remembered why he'd stayed. He remembered this unyielding, unquestioning weight that could hold him and all of his problems up without breaking a sweat. For the first time in months, he could finally breathe again. It was such a relief it was frightening; Neil hadn't meant to lean on Andrew so much.”
At first, you don’t see it coming, but as time passes, you can feel them growing, their relationship growing from understating to trust and comfort. Both of them were through so much and they never thought they were worth something like that – they never thought they deserved someone who would understand them and respect their boundaries.
"You have a problem," Andrew said, "wherein you only invest your time and energy into worthless pursuits."
"This," Neil flicked his finger to indicate the two of them, "isn't worthless."
"There is no 'this'. This is nothing."
"And I am nothing," Neil prompted. When Andrew gestured confirmation, Neil said, "And as you've always said, you want nothing."
Andrew’s abuse made him close up to everyone and everything, but Neil didn’t push him – he didn’t demand or force, he just asked and waited for Andrew to be okay with it. Neil had never had anyone to lean on or to care for, but Andrew gave him somewhere to belong and he gave him a home.
"You aren't going anywhere," Andrew said: the same words, the same promise. He was speaking in English again, and Nathaniel understood why when he heard Andrew's next words. Andrew was playing instigator and inviting the Foxes to the fight. "You're staying with us. If they try to take you away they will lose."
It’s a story of pain and trust, but most importantly it’s about healing and putting one’s past behind, because what is more important than family to pick you up when you fall apart?
"Thank you," he finally said. He couldn't say he meant thanks for all of it: the keys, the trust, the honesty, and the kisses. Hopefully, Andrew would figure it out eventually. "You were amazing."
🐾Kevin and Neil
This friendship is something I’ve been watching unfold from book #1, and I am such a sucker for their interactions. Neil had a lot of mixed-feelings towards Kevin from the beginning: jealousy and envy of Kevin’s superstar life, which were quickly replaced by understanding after finding out how he was treated by Moriyama's. Kevin hadn’t had an idea who was he recruiting when he first took Neil as his protegee, but he saw potential in him and decided he could make him an amazing player one day. Despite his attitude and rude remarks, Neil trusted Kevin and wanted to play Exy more than anything – so that’s what Kevin gave him even though they both knew it couldn’t last. When Neil realized he was finally done running and decided to take a stand, he wanted to push Kevin into doing the same – he was tired of watching him bend and hide.
Now that number was gone, covered up by the jet-black image of a chess piece. Neil's knowledge of chess was hazy at best, but he knew for sure that wasn't a king. "You did it," Neil said, too stunned to manage anything else.
I loved their interactions and how they gave the best of themselves for each other and for Exy and it was so damn beautiful when Neil got through to Kevin and helped him become what he was truly supposed to be.
You know, it seems that every time I want to say something important about this book, I end up with one of these three. It’s not just them, but their journeys and the way their developments are so deeply intertwined with each other that it’s impossible to think of one without bringing up another. It is maybe more so with Kevin and Neil and Neil and Andrew, but these two come as my favorite friendship by far. From book one, they’ve been a puzzle for me: what does Kevin have that Andrew is willing to risk everything to protect him? That was still when I was thinking of their relationships as nothing more but mutual beneficiation – but the fact that I didn’t know any of them well enough stopped me from seeing the depth of that friendship. Andrew’s affection works in the only way he knows now – unconditional loyalty and territorial violence – as the only way to say thank you for sticking with me, and Kevin wanted to give Andrew something to care for, something to fight for after he’s off the drugs. They called it a deal, yet it was so much more than that – it was a bond. It took them a while to get over their stubborn asses though, but they did. (that scene where they play together like two rockheaded dickheads was one of my favorites. Ever uwu)
🐾Kevin and Andrew
"Someone needs to keep an eye on that idiot," Andrew said.
He yanked the last strap into place, strapped his helmet on, and headed for the door.
🐾Wymack
“You're no fun, Coach," Nicky said.
"I will be a lot less fun if you make us look like fools," Wymack said. "But I'm not as worried about you as I am about our resident punching bag and his smart mouth. Anyone have ideas on how to make Neil look a bit less like a battered wife?"
Has there ever been a bigger icon than this man over here? He deserves the world for putting up with all the Fox shit, but that’s why he’s here, actually. Their coach understands, and he is willing to give his Foxes as much space they need. He gave them a chance and he doesn’t regret it, because they deserve it, they all do deserve the world. And in the end, he gave it to them.
“ I don't want Neil moving more than he has to."
"I can walk," Neil said.
"Proud of you," Wymack said. "Didn't ask."
I am not okay. 🐾
"I am not a pipe dream," Neil said. "I'm not going anywhere."
"I didn't ask you."
"Ask me," Neil insisted, "or stick around long enough to figure it out for yourself."
"I'll get bored of you eventually."
"You sure?" Neil asked. "Rumor has it I'm pretty interesting."
"Don't believe everything you hear."
"All eyes are on you. It's time to show them what you're made of. There's no room for doubt, no room for second guesses, no room for error. This is your night. This is your game. This is your moment. Seize it with everything you've got. Pull out all the stops and lay it all on the line. Fight because you don't know how to die quietly. Win because you don't know how to lose. This king's ruled long enough—it's time to tear his castle down."
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